IUI #2.5 update

Estradiol levels went up from 94 to 142 today! I have a 12mm follie plus a few 10 and 11 mm ones. I go back in on Friday morning for another ultrasound and blood draw to determine if the IUI can be done next week and if we have to back off a little on the meds. Since the office is closed on Monday due to it being the 4th of July, please keep your fingers crossed that my body doesn't go haywire over the weekend and this cycle doesn't have to be cancelled.

Wordless Wednesday

Love <3

Some good news but some conflicts also

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I went in for another ultrasound appointment bright and early this morning. I only had to wait about 10 minutes to be seen - something usually unheard of at my doctor's office, so that was a nice surprise. I checked out the ultrasound on the screen and lo and behold there were follicles! Granted, the largest one was only at 10 mm, but they're on their way. Nurse D drew my blood and told me (as usual) that she would call me this afternoon with my numbers. I was shocked to hear that my estradiol levels were actually at 94 which corresponds for once with the follicle count/sizes. I go back in for my next ultrasound on Wednesday to see if any progress has been made.

Onto the conflict... E. and I were chatting this afternoon and he told me that the whole IUI thing was making him uncomfortable. He said it would be weird if I got pregnant while he was gone. He also said that he wouldn't like it if he wasn't around for the pregnancy. I understand where he's coming from, but don't tell this to a hormonal woman in the middle of a treatment cycle. I'm glad he's sharing his thoughts and feelings about everything, but why now? We both agreed that freezing was a good idea so we could keep trying during the deployment. We agreed to go through this IUI (and to be perfectly honest with you, I was going to finish it out anyway) and maybe not go through with the last one if this doesn't work. Personally, I want to go ahead and just go through with the last IUI if necessary. I want to feel like we exhausted all of our options before doing IVF in the spring. If I don't, I'm always going to wonder "what if?" If I had it my way (something that seems to never happen when it comes to the crap), I'd get pregnant over the summer, so he could be here for the end of the pregnancy and the birth of our child. If we have to wait until April to do IVF, sure he'll be here if I get pregnant, but they're already talking about a fall deployment. If that happens, he'll potentially miss the birth and the first few months. Ugh. What to do, what to do? Keeping my fingers crossed for a positive appointment on Wednesday and we'll go from there..... Why does life have to be so complicated and frustrating sometimes?

Wordless Wednesday

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This makes my day a little more bearable. S.tarbucks iced green tea.

Follie check

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Yah we didn't see that on the screen this morning)

I went in for my first ultrasound of the cycle this morning. I had hoped that the F.emara worked and that we could proceed with the IUI without adding in the injections. Unfortunately that was not the case. Dr. P. took a look this morning and only found 1 follicle on my left side; nothing at all on the right. Nurse D told me that they wouldn't make a decision on what to do next until my blood work came back this afternoon. I got the phone call about 2 hours ago and Nurse D told me that my E2 level was only at 5, which is apparently very low for being on cycle day 10.

The plan now is to start up the G.onal-F injections (starting today). Instead of going forward with the 150 IUs like last cycle, they decreased my dosage back down to 75 IUs. Hopefully this dosage works well. I go back in for a second ultrasound next Monday morning to see what's going on in there.

While I was in the office this morning, I also asked Nurse D about the process to get on the IVF waiting list. She told me, "All you have to do is ask". I told her that I was asking and we talked about E.'s deployment timeline. We settled on an April/May IVF cycle and that's that. Hopefully we don't need to go through with it, but we both agreed that it's good to have a back-up plan just in case. If these next 2 IUIs are busts, then I have about 8 months to get into shape for IVF. I guess it's back to being a pincushion for at least a week - let's hope this works....

Happy Father's Day

Even though my parents don't read this blog, I just wanted to say Happy Father's Day to my own dad. We've had our ups and downs over the past 28 years, but my dad is one of the most strong and funny people I know. I get my stubbornness and my sarcastic sense of humor from him. He taught me how to play basketball, how to drive, and instilled in me a passion for sports.

I wish I could wish E. Happy Father's Day also. I guess technically I could; he is Bella and Murphy's dad. You know where I'm going with this though. I want to make him a father so desperately. He is going to do such a great job. The holidays seem to get harder and harder each passing year. Maybe this month will be our month.

Milspouse Friday Fill-In #23

Happy Friday! Time for the Milspouse Friday Fill-In. Head over to Wifey's blog to link up your blog.

1. Underwear parties, how old is too old? submitted by Wookie & Co.

I'm not quite sure what an underwear party is... so I don't know how to answer this. I think that running around in your underwear is only appropriate behind closed doors or if you're a little kid.

2. What was your favorite class in high school? submitted by Adventures of M-Squared

Can I have two favorites? English and psychology. I have always loved reading great books and am a stickler for proper spelling and grammar. I also had a great psychology teacher who taught us about interesting topics and showed us great documentaries about mental illness.

3. Have you ever convinced packers/movers to pack something they aren't supposed to for a PCS? submitted by Ground Control to Major Mom

The packers will pack almost anything that laying around the house even if they're not supposed to pack it. During our last PCS, they packed candles, lighters, charcoal, and lighter fluid even though all of those items are on the do not pack list. If you don't want something packed, section off an area of your house for those items and tell the packers and movers "hands off"!

4. Blogging plays a growing role in the media. If you were asked to embed as a blogger with a deployed military unit, would you go? What do you think your blog would be like? submitted by To the Nth

I love writing but I also love the comforts of home. The living conditions are less than desirable during deployments and I don't think I could "rough it" over there. I'd also be terrified of getting injured or worse...

5. Do you think kids should attend year-round school? submitted by Marrying the Navy

Since I'm studying to be a teacher, this question will also affect me. I always liked the idea of having off for the whole summer; however, year-round schools aren't as bad as I once thought. The students and teachers do get several extended breaks throughout the school year that equal out to a traditional summer break. I think it would be nice to have several, short breaks throughout the year, as opposed to one, long break during the summer.

Randomness

So this is going to be a random post with some general updates....

I finally got to start taking the F.emara yesterday! So excited to start the process for IUI #2. I had minimal side effects when taking C.lomid, so I wondered what F.emara had in store for me. Unfortunately, I developed a massive headache yesterday; however, today is much better and I'm not feeling any side effects at all. I'll take my last pill on Friday morning and then head in for my first ultrasound and blood draw on Monday morning. Depending on what the ultrasound and blood draw show, we may or may not add in the injectibles. I want to be optimistic and say that the injections won't be needed, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see how my body responds to the pills.

This past weekend, I finally had my lawncare guy come and do some landscaping in the front yard. Every time it rains, I lose more and more mulch into the grass and driveway so I figured if we installed some edging, the problem would be solved. The main flower bed in front of the house is almost finished - we just need to get about 7 more edgers for the back. The two little beds on either side of the house are halfway finished and will be completed once H.ome D.epot gets the curved edgers back in stock. Hopefully I'll be picking up the remaining edgers sometime this week. I also need to buy some more plants for my planters tomorrow and buy some supplies from the craft store to make a new wreath for the front door.

(Before landscaping)

(After landscaping)

I'll have to post more pictures once everything is complete!

I'm thoroughly enjoying my short break from grad classes. Last week, I was able to clean the house from top to bottom. The house hasn't had a deep cleaning for months because I'm always writing papers and reading textbooks. Note to self: do not let this happen again. I've also used the extra time to catch up on some reading. So far I've read - "If You Were Here" by Jen Lancaster and "Bossypants" by Tina Fey.

I loved, loved, loved Jen Lancaster's book. This was her first attempt at writing a fiction book and I have to say that it was hilarious and very entertaining. If you haven't read any of her memoirs yet, you need to check them out ASAP. I have to read her books when no one else is around because I randomly bust out laughing every 5 minutes or so. E. usually gives me the side-eye every time I read her books around him.

I was slightly disappointed with Tina's book. I'm a big fan of 30 Rock and of Tina Fey herself, so I assumed that this book was going to be awesome. I'd give it a 3 out of 5. It had it moments but I just wanted more out of it. I kind of wish I would have just waited for it to become available at the library instead of buying it.

I'm currently reading "The Help" and have about 100 pages to go. I love the book so far. It tells a great story about the relationship dynamic between whites and blacks in the South during the Civil Rights movement. The movie is set to be released later this summer and I can't wait to see it. I hope it's just as good as the movie.

I have a new online addiction - pinterest. My friend, Kate, got me started on this website. I don't have much on there now, but it's slowly turning into a good time-waster.

I'll end this post with some pictures of the furbabies. They're in need of a major grooming that will happen later in the week.

Hope everyone is having a great week!

Could it be?

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After 95 long days, I'm happy to report that it's finally cycle day 1!!!! Can you sense my enthusiasm? All I have to say is that my body better not be messing with me again after the spotting debacle the other week. I'll be calling Nurse D today to let her know that I'll be starting the F.emara on Monday and to finally schedule me for an ultrasound. IUI #2, here we come!

In other non-related AF news... final grades have started coming in.

Children's Literature - A

Language Arts Processes - A

Now I'm just waiting on my Special Education grade. Assuming I didn't bomb the final, I should also have an A in that class, which means that the 4.0 lives to see another semester. Dean's List baby!

Wordless Wednesday

(I just want to get away. Take me to the beach, please!)

Day 90

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Today marks cycle day 90. I'm 3 days away from being finished with the birth control pills that I have nicknamed "Satan's candy". These things are making me bitchy, bloated, and hungry. All I have to say is that this better work or I'm going to have a mental breakdown. It is not normal that this cycle has been going on for 3 whole months now. I'm so ready to finally move on with IUI #2. I want another chance. I want my doctor to figure out what's going on. I know it's a lot to ask but haven't I been through enough? My second angel's due date is coming up in about a month - July 12th and it's making me depressed. Even though angel baby #2 was only with me for 5 and a half weeks, I still miss him or her. Every time I lose another one, I lose a little piece of myself and my sanity. E. and I have discussed the possibility of going through with IVF if these next 2 IUIs are failures. When I go in for my next doctor's appointment (which is hopefully soon), I'm going to ask Nurse D how I can put myself on the waiting list for next February or March. I'm so ready to hold my baby in my arms, but some days it seems like that day is never going to come.

"I Would Die For That"

This song had me in tears this morning....

Milspouse Friday Fill-In #22

It's time for the Milspouse Friday Fill-In. Head over to Wifey's blog for the questions and to link up your blog!

1. It's June now (woot!)... what plans do you have for the summer?

I do have a short break coming up in between semesters so I plan on taking it easy and hanging out by the pool. After my mini-break is over, it'll be back to the grind with school. I'm finishing up my last 2 undergrad classes and taking 3 more grad classes. Can't wait until this time next year, because it'll be time to graduate!

2. What is your favorite summer memory as a kid?

I love Disney World so I'd have to say the time we went to Disney for 2 weeks right before my freshman year of high school. We went in August so it was unbearably hot but I had such a great time visiting all of the regular parks in addition to the waterparks!

3. If wild animals could be made pets without fear of them ever being dangerous, what kind of exotic animal would you want as a pet?

Well I would have to have access to a large body of water because I would want a dolphin. When I was younger, I was fascinated by dolphins and wanted to become a marine biologist so I could work with them. That dream was dashed when I realized that I sucked at biology.

4. Is there anything about deployments that you do like? submitted by The Thrifty Military Wife

I like being able to save a lot of money, choosing what I want to eat for dinner, and watching anything I want on TV or from N.etflix.

5. I'm starting to run out of questions again... so please give me a question you'd like to see (off-the-wall will most likely make it because we seem to have used a lot of the "traditional" ones).

What have you been doing to get yourself bathing suit ready for the summer?

Not a Wordless Wednesday

I was planning to put up some sort of picture that represented some sort of celebration because I thought AF was coming today and that the cycle from hell part 2 was finally going to be over with after 85 days. Sadly, blogger friends, my body tricked me again. TMI warning....

I started spotting last night and woke up to more spotting, which usually means that AF will be here in full force by the afternoon. Oh no, not this time. The spotting stopped. I put a call into Nurse D to let her know what's going on and to find out whether I should continue the birth control. She called me back this afternoon and told me that Dr. P. wants me to finish out the last week of the B.C. unless I start having a regular flow. Before we hung up, she said to me, "I hope you'll be calling back soon". Me too. UGH! I'm so over this cycle. I just want to move on and get on with IUI #2. Haven't I waited long enough??