Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Posted by Lauren at 11:25 AM
Monday, November 29, 2010
Posted by Lauren at 12:50 PM
Posted by Lauren at 12:14 PM
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Posted by Lauren at 10:25 AM
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Posted by Lauren at 3:34 PM
Posted by Lauren at 3:21 PM
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Posted by Lauren at 11:59 AM
The topic for day 3 is: Most meaningful gift/best gift you've received
Posted by Lauren at 7:39 AM
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Posted by Lauren at 1:00 PM
Monday, November 22, 2010
Posted by Lauren at 2:57 PM
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Here's a little bit about myself for all you new readers out there.
My name is Lauren and I'm 27 (soon to be 28) years old. I have been married to my husband, Evan, for almost 4 years now. I am a proud Army wife and a second time college student. We have 2 dogs, Bella and Murphy, who are my children for now.
We have been struggling with infertility for the past 3 years. Once Evan returned from a 15 month deployment, we started trying to have our first baby. I've always had a history of long cycles and skipping cycles for months. Unfortunately, Army insurance states that you can't be referred to see a fertility specialist until you've been unsuccessful in getting pregnant for over a year. When that year mark hit, I was in the doctor's office getting my referral. I was referred to an OB/GYN while we were living in Georgia. I went through 4 C.lomid cycles (unmonitored) and got pregnant on our 4th and last attempt. I got my first positive test on February 7. The pregnancy seemed to be progressing fine. I had all the classic symptoms, all day sickness, tender breasts, food aversions and cravings, so we assumed everything was going well. We went in for an 11 week ultrasound because we were getting ready to move across the country to Arizona. The doctor wheeled the machine in, put that slimy gel on my stomach and found nothing. I had to have an internal ultrasound and the tech found that our baby stopped growing at 6w5d. We were devastated. I had to have a D&C on April 2 and then pack my house up the following day for our move.
When we got to Arizona, I was referred to a reproductive endocrinologist. He diagnosed me with PCOS and started me on M.etformin. Not much progress was made while we lived out there, partly due to a 146 day cycle. We moved across the country yet again to North Carolina (where we are now) and I found out that I was pregnant again thanks to another round of C.lomid on October 28. Sadly, I started cramping and bleeding on November 4. This time I had a chemical pregnancy.
Present day: Waiting on my first RE appointment on December 15.
So this is my story of battling infertility, coping with pregnancy loss and being a military spouse. Hope you enjoy the ride. Thanks for taking time to stop by and get to know a little about me. I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you!
Posted by Lauren at 11:35 AM
Friday, November 19, 2010
Posted by Lauren at 7:01 PM
1. If you had to be shipwrecked on a deserted island, but all your human needs – such as food and water – were taken care of, what two items would you want to have with you?
Well of course I would want to take my husband and my dogs. I guess I would have to sneak one dog onto the island though since we're only allowed 2 things! If I were going to pick material possessions though I would take a Kindle and a laptop so I would have books to keep me company.
2. If you were a salad, what kind of dressing would you have?
I'd probably have some kind of vinaigrette since that's the kind of dressing I usually default to when I eat salads.
3. If you had to live on a ranch, what kind of animals would you raise/own?
I'm actually not that big on animals except for dogs. Going to the farm or zoo was always a traumatic experience for me when I was younger for some reason. Evan does like horses so I guess we could have those on the ranch and he could take care of them. :)
4. If your life was was portrayed as a movie, who would you choose to play you and your significant other?
I love Anne Hathaway so I would want her to play me. We kind of (this is a big stretch) look similar. Similar meaning we both have brown hair, brown eyes and the same skin complexion. I'd pick John Krasinski to play my husband because I may have a slight celebrity crush on him.
5. What was the last thing you put a stamp on (envelope, duh, but what was in the envelope)?
Birthday cards for my dad and my friend's daughter.
Posted by Lauren at 7:38 AM
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Posted by Lauren at 2:27 PM
Monday, November 15, 2010
the pain an infertile woman feels when she wakes up in the morning to an empty uterus, empty arms, and an empty heart.
why we keep the doors to our spare bedrooms shut - because we can't bear the thought that one of those rooms should be a nursery by now.
that we would die to experience her morning sickness or her swollen feet, just to know what it's like to have a baby growing inside of us.
how badly we want to have sleepless nights with a colic-y baby, more so than we want to go out drinking with our girlfriends.
that we go grocery shopping early in the morning, just to avoid running into her pregnant belly or her adorable toddler.
that while she is jealous of our latest vacation, we envy her messy house, her unwashed hair, and her stained T-shirt.
how difficult it is to sit through a baby shower when all we can think about is, "Will I ever experience one of these?"
the tortured feeling of not being able to give our parents grandchildren or make our husbands fathers.
why we dread going to family functions, change the channel when we see holiday commercials, and avoid the baby aisle at Target like the plague.
what it feels like to be trapped in a room and be the only woman in that room who has not experienced motherhood.
what it feels like to be trapped in a world where the only thing that makes a "real woman" is the ability to birth a child.
the pain an infertile woman feels when she lays her head on her pillow at night, and all she can think about is her empty uterus, empty arms, and empty heart.
Friday, November 12, 2010
I enjoyed the fill-in last week and gained a few new readers in the process, so I'm looking forward to connecting with new military spouses this week. Head over to WifeofaSailor's site to get the questions and link your site.
1. Were you named after anyone?
My first name isn't anything special. Actually my name was supposed to be Amber but my parents decided to change it at the last minute to Lauren. Thanks mom and dad. My middle name, Ann, has been in the family for years though. My grandmother's first name is Ann, my mother's middle name is Ann and so is her mother's middle name. I think my name flows well but I don't know that I would pass it on if we have a daughter in the future.
2. What color, if any, are your toenails usually painted?
I think I can count on one hand the number of times my toes have been painted. In the rare occasion that they are painted, I usually go for a light pink. Anyone want to go for a pedicure?
3. How do you flush a public toilet? Hands? Feet? Something else?
100% of the time I use my foot. I'm a slight germ-a-phob so there's no way I'm putting my hand on that handle even if it was just cleaned.
4. When you were a little kid, which TV character did you have a crush on?
I agree with WifeofaSailor...John Stamos was hot when he played Uncle Jesse. He is still kind of cute now. You know you agree with me.
5.Let’s say you had to lose one of your five senses (sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell). Which one would you choose? Why?
All of the senses are important in different ways but if I absolutely had to pick one I guess it would be smell. There are a lot of smelly things out there that I wouldn't mind never smelling again.
Posted by Lauren at 1:37 PM
Thursday, November 11, 2010
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” – John F. Kennedy
Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of readiness to die. ~G.K. Chesterton
Happy Veteran's Day to all those who serve our great nation but let's not forgot those soldiers who gave their lives in order for us to be free.
Posted by Lauren at 2:10 PM
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Evan's unit is trying to send him home but we're running into some difficulties there. I told him not to push it and stay where he is. I know he's worried about me and I love him for wanting to come home but he just started a new job and I don't want him to miss out on training and work. He's trying to get wives from the unit to call me but honestly I really don't feel like talking to anyone. I talked things over with my best friend on the phone yesterday and it did help a little. I'm still very upset but I can't cry anymore. I think my body is out of tears today. I'm going to try and take it easy until I see the OB and I guess we'll see where it goes from there. I'd love some answers and to move onto different treatment options. It just doesn't seem fair that we can't have what we want most in life.
Posted by Lauren at 4:35 PM
Friday, November 5, 2010
1. A different twist on last week’s question. This week, the first question is: what’s the nicest thing a MILSPOUSE has ever done for you? (brought to you from navy_smurfette)
So many of my milspouse friends (and other friends in general) have offered a lot of support while I was trying to deal with my first miscarriage. Without their support, kind words and prayers, I don't think I would have been able to put things in perspective and cope with what happened.
2. How often do you drive faster than the speed limit?
Well I can't really get away it here because cops are all over the place in Fayetteville and on Fort Bragg. I do tend to speed a little bit when we're driving home to PA though.
3. Did you have a nickname in school? If so, what was it?
No nicknames here. The family I used to nanny for tried to shorten my name and call me Laur. That didn't last for long.
4. If your life was a book, what would the title be and how would it end?
Thankfully my life is not over and hopefully won't be over for many, many years but I hope it would end with me being happy with how I lived my life. I also hope it would say that I ended up having children and grandchildren. Right now, I think my book would be called "The Long Journey".
5. Look back (in your planner if you have one) to September 14th… what did you do that day?
I believe this was the day after we closed on our house. We had just moved across the country from Arizona and received our household goods. We spent the day checking off box numbers from the packing list, unpacking, sorting and tossing empty boxes into the garage. I also took the dogs to get groomed because they were way to furry and it was a good excuse to get them out of the house (and out of the way of the movers) for a few hours. I can't believe we've almost been in this house for 2 months now.
Posted by Lauren at 7:34 PM
Posted by Lauren at 9:01 AM
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
I recently starting scrapbooking again. I had a ton of things from our trip to Europe and other vacations we've taken together in the past 4 years so I decided to create a travel scrapbook. I've only done one other before which was for my wedding and it took me forever. I've done 4 pages so far and have about 12 more to go. This is one expensive hobby though. So many things that can be purchased - papers, embellishments, markers, scissors, glue, pens, etc. I'm getting in some scrapbooking practice now because I'd really like to make a scrapbook for our baby once I do get pregnant. It's something that Evan's mom and grandfather did for him when he was little for him to look back on when he got older. I love the one he has and I'd love for our future children to have one of their own also.
Here's some pictures from the weekend.
Posted by Lauren at 3:13 PM