12 Days of Christmas Blog Challenge - Day 8

The topic of the day is: Least Favorite Thing About the Holidays

I'm thankful that my parents and my in-laws only live about an hour and a half away from each other so traveling around the holidays isn't bad. However, I don't like deciding how we're going to split our time between each family. For the first 2 years that we were married, we would spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with one family, then drive to the other family's house and spend a few days there. We would then switch back and hang out until right after New Year's then drive back home. Last year to eliminate cutting Christmas day short, we decided to spend both Christmas Eve and Christmas day with my parents then drove to Evan's the next day. This year, we'll be switching it around. Hopefully by next Christmas, we'll have our baby and everyone can come see us.

Another thing that I don't enjoy is taking down and putting away all of the decorations. I love putting them up and enjoying them while they're out, but taking everything down and getting them back in their boxes is so time consuming and tedious.

12 Days of Christmas Blog Challenge - Day 7

The topic of the day is: Holiday Craft/DIY (If you don't make anything, what do you wish you could make?)

I'll admit it - I'm not a crafty person at all. I don't think I've ever made a holiday craft other than homemade Christmas cards when I was very young. If I knew how to sew, I would love to make a tree skirt for our Christmas tree. I think it would be so nice to have something in the house that was actually handmade and not store-bought. Maybe one day, I'll learn how to sew and I'll make my very own tree skirt!

Cute puppies = cute Christmas cards

I can't believe Christmas is right around the corner already. It feels like it was just summer time and we were sweltering in Arizona. Thankfully, I got some great family shots over Thanksgiving - so now I'm ready to pick out my holiday photo cards. Evan and I started sending out photo cards 4 years ago and I still love to send them as our annual holiday card.

This year we have decided to order our cards again from Shutterfly. They have such a wide selection, it's hard to narrow the search down to just one card. Here are my top 3 choices.

(view this card here)

(view this card here)

(view this card here)

If you're a fellow Blogger and would like the opportunity to receive 50 free Christmas photo cards from Shutterfly, click here to learn more. Like I said before, there's a great selection with hundreds of options to choose from! In addition to having fun photo cards, they also make personalized wall calendars which would be a great gift idea for yourself or for family members.

12 Days of Christmas Blog Challenge - Day 6

The topic of day 6 is : Gift Ideas

It's so hard to come up with ideas for Christmas presents for me every year for some reason! It's especially hard because my birthday, anniversary and Christmas all fall in the same month so that means 3 times the present ideas. This year I am asking for a new comforter for the master bedroom since the one we have now is about 8 years old. I'm also asking for a new mouse for my Mac so it's easier to do all my classwork and homework for my online classes, a gift card to Loft for some student teaching clothing and a gift card to Pier 1 so I can pick out some new pillows to go with the comforter. The list is short and simple and has to be split between Evan, my parents and my in-laws. If I get some of these things - great. If not, then I won't be too disappointed. I think I enjoy giving presents more than I do getting them. We'll see what ends up under the Christmas tree in a few weeks!

12 Days of Christmas Blog Challenge - Day 5

The topic for day 5 is: Favorite Holiday Movie/TV Show Special

Hands down, the best Christmas movie ever is "A Christmas Story". TBS has a 24 hour marathon every year starting on Christmas Eve and you bet I'll be watching at least one of the showings. I guess I should have included this is in my holiday traditions post because I've been doing this for at least 10 years now. Who doesn't love the leg lamp, "you'll shoot your eye out", double dog dares, the Bumpuses' dogs and the pink bunny suit that poor Ralphie has to put on while his little brother, Randy, points and laughs.

I also enjoy "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and "The Santa Clause". I like to watch the holiday specials on Food Network to see what kind of yummy holiday goodies the hosts can come up with. Finally, I like to watch some of the holiday specials on HGTV. A few of the shows have some good decorating ideas.

Thanksgiving 2010

Thanksgiving has come and is gone for another year. Even though it was a lot of work, it turned out to be a great day. Since we were only having a turkey breast, I didn't have to pop the turkey in the oven until 1:00. I utilized my free time in the morning to prep all of the sides and the dessert. I thought my pie crust was unusable because it kept crumbling when I tried to roll it out. Evan saved the day though - he fixed it and rolled it out for me while I continued with other preparations. I have to say that my favorites from dinner were the turkey and the cornbread stuffing. I'm looking forward to eating turkey sandwiches for lunch this week! We ended the day with a few football games then I settled in with a good book. I also made Evan pose for a few pictures, much to his dismay. I needed some new shots to choose from for our annual Christmas card. Here are a few pictures from the day to enjoy.

(Our Thanksgiving table)

(Bella hates the camera)

(Murphy's favorite spot)

(Family picture)

12 Days of Christmas Blog Challenge - Day 4

Hello blog world! Hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving yesterday. Here is the challenge topic for the day: Tips/Tricks to a Budget Friendly Holiday Season

Well as I said before with the Black Friday post, always go into a store with a list. It will keep you on track and you'll be less tempted to make impulse buys.

I'm also a big fan of homemade gifts. I LOVE to cook and bake so in a few weeks, I'll be pulling out my Kitchenaid mixer to whip up some Christmas cookies. Last year, I made snickerdoodles and everyone loved them. This year, I think I'll make them again and some other cookie. I'm thinking a chocolate chip or peanut butter blossom. I've also made spiced nuts, fudge and chocolate almond bark in the past. I'll probably make chocolate dipped pretzel rods this year and one other goodie. I pick up some cute Christmas themed goodie bags from a craft store, package up the baked goods and hand them out to family. What will you be doing this year to save some money?

What I'm thankful for

Even though this year has been filled with heartache and disappoint, there are many things that I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my husband who is my biggest supporter and shoulder to cry on. He's my partner in this infertility struggle and is behind me 100%. He is there for me in the good times as well as the bad. I love him so much.

I am thankful for my best friend who has listened to me cry and complain and whine about how life isn't fair. Even though we live hundreds of miles away from each other and haven't seen each other in over a year, we still have a strong connection and will be friends forever.

I am thankful for all my other friends, both old and new, who have offered support, thoughts and kind words when I needed them the most. Because of all of them, life has been a little more bearable.

I am thankful for my two puppies, Bella and Murphy. They are my constant companions and love me no matter what is going on. They keep me company when Evan is away. They also entertain me and keep me in a routine.

Not much blogging will be going on for the next few days since my parents are coming for a visit. I hope everyone enjoys their Thanksgiving and hopefully in the next few days, I'll be able to post some pictures from our feast!

12 Days of Christmas Blog Challenge - Day 3

The topic for day 3 is: Most meaningful gift/best gift you've received

I'd have to say that the best gift I've ever received was my pearl necklace from my husband a few years ago. We go to several formal balls throughout the year and I was always jealous of the pretty strands of pearls that a lot of the other wives were wearing with their formal gowns. Evan heard me complimenting another wife on her necklace and got the idea to get me a set of my own. Usually I know what I'll be getting for my birthday and Christmas because I have to give him ideas, but this year he actually surprised me. The present became so much more meaningful to me because it was a surprise.

12 Days of Christmas Blog Challenge - Day 2

The topic of day 2 is : Black Friday/General Shopping Tips and Tricks

Do you know where I'll be at 4 AM on Friday? That's right, I'll be in my nice, warm bed cuddled up next to my husband and 2 dogs who feel like they have the right to take up the WHOLE bed. I refuse to go shopping on Black Friday for many reasons.

1. I worked in retail for almost 10 years and you bet I worked every Black Friday because that's just how it is in the retail world. Shoppers are crazy! The lines are never-ending, people are rude and impatient and I've witnessed fights over merchandise.

2. Who wants to get up at 2 or 3 AM just to wait out in the freezing cold for hours on end? No discount is worth it for me.

3. I hate crowds. I avoid the commissary, PX, restaurants and the mall like the plague on payday because of overcrowding, so why would I subject myself to the overcrowded stores on Black Friday?

Obviously I have some valid reasons for not wanting to leave my bed to score a few deals on Black Friday. However, other people may also have their own valid reasons for wanting to subject themselves to the crowds, traffic and stress. More power to them if they can deal with it all.

Now I'm not a big shopper but I'll offer a few shopping tips for this holiday season.

Tip #1. I always go into a store with a list. I go in knowing what I'm looking for, so that saves a lot of time. If I don't go in with a game plan, 9 times out of 10, I leave the store forgetting something. I also hate wasting time. Lists help me focus on what I came into the store for. They also help me save a little money on impulse buys :)

Tip #2. Check out deals online especially on cyber Monday. You'd be surprised on how much money you can save on things like electronics. I'm hoping to save a few bucks on a Kindle this year for Evan.

If you're one of those brave souls who is willing to battle it out on Black Friday - good luck and enjoy your shopping!

12 Days of Christmas Blog Challenge - Day 1

I decided to take part in the 12 Days of Christmas Blog Challenge brought to you by Aly over at analyze this. Here are a list of the topics for the challenge if you'd like to participate too!

Start Date: Monday, November 22nd

{Topics}

Day 1: Christmas/Holiday traditions

Day 2: Black Friday/General Shopping Tips & Tricks

Day 3: Most meaningful gift/best gift you've received

Day 4: Tips/Tricks to a Budget Friendly holiday season

Day 5: Favorite Holiday Movie/TV Show Special

Day 6: Gift ideas (what do YOU want? We all have family/friends reading our blogs...so let them know!)

Day 7: Holiday Craft/DIY (If you don't make anything, what do you WISH you could make?)

Day 8: Least favorite thing about the Holidays

Day 9: Favorite Holiday recipe

Day 10: Favorite Christmas Songs/Caroles

Day 11: New Year Resolutions

Day 12: Show us your decorations (indoor/outdoor)

Day 13: Favorite Cookie Recipe

Day 14: Oprah's Favorite Things: What item(s) would you want if you were in the audience?

Come back on Monday to link up! I hope you all join in! We are giving you a sneak peek so you can start getting prepared!

Days 1 -3 are November 22 - 24

**** NO BLOG CHALLENGE ON Thanksgiving! ****

Day 4 will pick back up on November 26th!!

Day 1 - Christmas/Holiday traditions

When I was younger, my family had many traditions that I enjoyed partaking in every year. My mom would start decorating the house for the holidays the day after Thanksgiving. I loved seeing the lights, garland, candy canes and little trinkets come out of storage to be displayed for a whole month. My favorite decoration to put out was our nativity scene. I loved to take out each figurine and place them in their spot to set the Christmas scene.

My mom also put out an advent tree each year. Each day, my younger brother and I would take turns placing one ornament on the little Christmas tree. We got more and more excited each day because we knew it was one day closer to Christmas day. Every weekend leading up to Christmas, I would help my mom in the kitchen. We would bake butter cookies, chocolate chop cookies, pound cakes and applesauce cakes. I loved sneaking a little bit of cake or cookie batter out of the bowl when my mom wasn't looking!

Another important tradition was decorating our tree. Most people put their trees up in early December, but we would wait until after church on Christmas Eve to decorate ours. My dad would string the lights, my mom would take each ornament out of it's box and my brother and I would decide on the perfect place to hang each one. After the tree was finished, we would hang our stockings, put out a few cookies and a glass of milk for Santa and head off to bed.

Christmas was so fun when I was younger! Now that I have started my own family, we have started our own holiday traditions. I have continued the baking tradition that my mom started. I bake cookies and make fudge or spiced nuts for my family as well as Evan's. This year I'll be adding chocolate dipped pretzels to my arsenal of Christmas goodies. We decorate our tree a few days after Thanksgiving so we have a month to enjoy it before heading home for the holidays. No matter where we are stationed, we make it home to PA to celebrate with both sides of the family. This year we will be spending Christmas Eve and Christmas with my in-laws, then spending the next few days with my family.

I can't wait until we have children so we can continue our traditions with them and also start some new ones!

My First ICLW

Welcome ICLW! If you're new to ICLW, click here to find out more information and join in for December's ICLW week!

Here's a little bit about myself for all you new readers out there.

My name is Lauren and I'm 27 (soon to be 28) years old. I have been married to my husband, Evan, for almost 4 years now. I am a proud Army wife and a second time college student. We have 2 dogs, Bella and Murphy, who are my children for now.

We have been struggling with infertility for the past 3 years. Once Evan returned from a 15 month deployment, we started trying to have our first baby. I've always had a history of long cycles and skipping cycles for months. Unfortunately, Army insurance states that you can't be referred to see a fertility specialist until you've been unsuccessful in getting pregnant for over a year. When that year mark hit, I was in the doctor's office getting my referral. I was referred to an OB/GYN while we were living in Georgia. I went through 4 C.lomid cycles (unmonitored) and got pregnant on our 4th and last attempt. I got my first positive test on February 7. The pregnancy seemed to be progressing fine. I had all the classic symptoms, all day sickness, tender breasts, food aversions and cravings, so we assumed everything was going well. We went in for an 11 week ultrasound because we were getting ready to move across the country to Arizona. The doctor wheeled the machine in, put that slimy gel on my stomach and found nothing. I had to have an internal ultrasound and the tech found that our baby stopped growing at 6w5d. We were devastated. I had to have a D&C on April 2 and then pack my house up the following day for our move.

When we got to Arizona, I was referred to a reproductive endocrinologist. He diagnosed me with PCOS and started me on M.etformin. Not much progress was made while we lived out there, partly due to a 146 day cycle. We moved across the country yet again to North Carolina (where we are now) and I found out that I was pregnant again thanks to another round of C.lomid on October 28. Sadly, I started cramping and bleeding on November 4. This time I had a chemical pregnancy.

Present day: Waiting on my first RE appointment on December 15.

So this is my story of battling infertility, coping with pregnancy loss and being a military spouse. Hope you enjoy the ride. Thanks for taking time to stop by and get to know a little about me. I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you!

It's an (almost) Thanksgiving miracle!

Finally the RE's office here on post called me back to schedule my first appointment!!! I do have to wait until December 15th to see him, but what's another month of waiting after waiting over 2 months already? According to the woman who makes the appointments, I'll get to see the doctor right away instead of having to go through the orientation first. Have any Bragg ladies bypassed this step? I'm thinking it may be because of my miscarriage situation and the fact that I've already been seeing an RE for the past 6 months. Whatever the case, I'm thankful that we can get moving with treatments again. I hope we're successful with our new doctor! I also hope that I'm finished with C.lomid and can move onto something else. I'll definitely keep you all updated.

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #3

Happy Friday everyone! Here are the questions for the Friday fill-in. Head over to WifeofaSailor's blog to get your own set of questions and to link your blog. Enjoy!

1. If you had to be shipwrecked on a deserted island, but all your human needs – such as food and water – were taken care of, what two items would you want to have with you?
Well of course I would want to take my husband and my dogs. I guess I would have to sneak one dog onto the island though since we're only allowed 2 things! If I were going to pick material possessions though I would take a Kindle and a laptop so I would have books to keep me company.

2. If you were a salad, what kind of dressing would you have?
I'd probably have some kind of vinaigrette since that's the kind of dressing I usually default to when I eat salads.

3. If you had to live on a ranch, what kind of animals would you raise/own?
I'm actually not that big on animals except for dogs. Going to the farm or zoo was always a traumatic experience for me when I was younger for some reason. Evan does like horses so I guess we could have those on the ranch and he could take care of them. :)

4. If your life was was portrayed as a movie, who would you choose to play you and your significant other?
I love Anne Hathaway so I would want her to play me. We kind of (this is a big stretch) look similar. Similar meaning we both have brown hair, brown eyes and the same skin complexion. I'd pick John Krasinski to play my husband because I may have a slight celebrity crush on him.

5. What was the last thing you put a stamp on (envelope, duh, but what was in the envelope)?
Birthday cards for my dad and my friend's daughter.

Thanksgiving dinner plans

We are T-minus one week until the start of the holiday season and I'm finalizing our Thanksgiving dinner menu. I've been cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the past 3 years and I plan on outdoing myself again this year. Here's what I have on the menu for Thanksgiving 2010.

Herb-roasted turkey stuffed with onions, lemons and oranges and pan gravy

Garlic mashed potatoes

Cornbread and sausage stuffing

Cranberry sauce (not a favorite in this house but my dad loves it)

Oven-roasted baby carrots

Fresh buttered corn

Buttermilk biscuits

Deep dish apple pie

I'm attempting to make everything from scratch this year except for the cranberry sauce. I'm relying on the fallback canned version this year since we won't be eating any of the leftovers of that dish. Since I'm only cooking for 4 people again, I'll only be making a turkey breast so most of my cooking energy will be focused on the sides. I'm looking forward to getting into the kitchen and cooking up a storm. What is everyone else planning for their menus?

Wordless Wednesday

(2 of my 3 loves)

I think this sums up exactly how I feel

I was reading some different blogs from the infertility blogging community and came across this post from Katie at from if to when. This list sums up exactly how I've been feeling for the past 3 years. Don't get me wrong, I'm overjoyed and happy for all those friends who are pregnant and/or have children already. However, I'm still sad and jealous that I can't experience what so many others have had the chance to experience.

What a fertile woman doesn't know is . . .

the pain an infertile woman feels when she wakes up in the morning to an empty uterus, empty arms, and an empty heart.

why we keep the doors to our spare bedrooms shut - because we can't bear the thought that one of those rooms should be a nursery by now.

that we would die to experience her morning sickness or her swollen feet, just to know what it's like to have a baby growing inside of us.

how badly we want to have sleepless nights with a colic-y baby, more so than we want to go out drinking with our girlfriends.

that we go grocery shopping early in the morning, just to avoid running into her pregnant belly or her adorable toddler.

that while she is jealous of our latest vacation, we envy her messy house, her unwashed hair, and her stained T-shirt.

how difficult it is to sit through a baby shower when all we can think about is, "Will I ever experience one of these?"

the tortured feeling of not being able to give our parents grandchildren or make our husbands fathers.

why we dread going to family functions, change the channel when we see holiday commercials, and avoid the baby aisle at Target like the plague.

what it feels like to be trapped in a room and be the only woman in that room who has not experienced motherhood.

what it feels like to be trapped in a world where the only thing that makes a "real woman" is the ability to birth a child.

the pain an infertile woman feels when she lays her head on her pillow at night, and all she can think about is her empty uterus, empty arms, and empty heart.

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #2

I enjoyed the fill-in last week and gained a few new readers in the process, so I'm looking forward to connecting with new military spouses this week. Head over to WifeofaSailor's site to get the questions and link your site.

1. Were you named after anyone?

My first name isn't anything special. Actually my name was supposed to be Amber but my parents decided to change it at the last minute to Lauren. Thanks mom and dad. My middle name, Ann, has been in the family for years though. My grandmother's first name is Ann, my mother's middle name is Ann and so is her mother's middle name. I think my name flows well but I don't know that I would pass it on if we have a daughter in the future.

2. What color, if any, are your toenails usually painted?
I think I can count on one hand the number of times my toes have been painted. In the rare occasion that they are painted, I usually go for a light pink. Anyone want to go for a pedicure?

3. How do you flush a public toilet? Hands? Feet? Something else?
100% of the time I use my foot. I'm a slight germ-a-phob so there's no way I'm putting my hand on that handle even if it was just cleaned.

4. When you were a little kid, which TV character did you have a crush on?
I agree with WifeofaSailor...John Stamos was hot when he played Uncle Jesse. He is still kind of cute now. You know you agree with me.

5.Let’s say you had to lose one of your five senses (sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell). Which one would you choose? Why?
All of the senses are important in different ways but if I absolutely had to pick one I guess it would be smell. There are a lot of smelly things out there that I wouldn't mind never smelling again.

In honor of those who are serving or have served...

"This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave." - Elmer Davis

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” – John F. Kennedy

Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of readiness to die. ~G.K. Chesterton

Happy Veteran's Day to all those who serve our great nation but let's not forgot those soldiers who gave their lives in order for us to be free.

(During deployment)

(In memory of our friend Dan, who gave all he had in Afghanistan)

(Before one of Evan's jumps)

It's over

After spending what seemed like an eternity in the ER this morning (even though it was only 4 hours), I was told that my betas did drop from 27 on Thursday to 8.2 today. Obviously levels dropping does in fact mean I miscarried. Thankfully, an ectopic pregnancy was ruled out though. The doctor said the pregnancy was a chemical pregnancy and probably wasn't even viable from the beginning and to treat Thursday as cycle day 1. Can't say that made me feel any better. A loss is still a loss no matter when it happens. I'm still supposed to follow up with a to be determined OB later in the week. My insurance company is trying to push through the referral so I can get assigned to a practice. I'm trying to go off-post because on-post is so overcrowded already. Still no word from the RE's office so I don't think I'm really going to get any answers until I actually get in to see him. I really don't want to do any more rounds of C.lomid. I'm ready to move onto the next step which should be IUI. The drugs are obviously helping me get pregnant, but for some unknown reason, I can't stay pregnant.

Evan's unit is trying to send him home but we're running into some difficulties there. I told him not to push it and stay where he is. I know he's worried about me and I love him for wanting to come home but he just started a new job and I don't want him to miss out on training and work. He's trying to get wives from the unit to call me but honestly I really don't feel like talking to anyone. I talked things over with my best friend on the phone yesterday and it did help a little. I'm still very upset but I can't cry anymore. I think my body is out of tears today. I'm going to try and take it easy until I see the OB and I guess we'll see where it goes from there. I'd love some answers and to move onto different treatment options. It just doesn't seem fair that we can't have what we want most in life.

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #1

Trying to keep my mind off things as I wait for my next appointment so I thought I'd start participating in the MilSpouse Friday Fill-in brought to you by WifeOfASailor. If you're a MilSpouse, head over to her site and grab the questions and link your post.

1. A different twist on last week’s question. This week, the first question is: what’s the nicest thing a MILSPOUSE has ever done for you? (brought to you from navy_smurfette)
So many of my milspouse friends (and other friends in general) have offered a lot of support while I was trying to deal with my first miscarriage. Without their support, kind words and prayers, I don't think I would have been able to put things in perspective and cope with what happened.

2. How often do you drive faster than the speed limit?
Well I can't really get away it here because cops are all over the place in Fayetteville and on Fort Bragg. I do tend to speed a little bit when we're driving home to PA though.

3. Did you have a nickname in school? If so, what was it?
No nicknames here. The family I used to nanny for tried to shorten my name and call me Laur. That didn't last for long.

4. If your life was a book, what would the title be and how would it end?
Thankfully my life is not over and hopefully won't be over for many, many years but I hope it would end with me being happy with how I lived my life. I also hope it would say that I ended up having children and grandchildren. Right now, I think my book would be called "The Long Journey".

5. Look back (in your planner if you have one) to September 14th… what did you do that day?
I believe this was the day after we closed on our house. We had just moved across the country from Arizona and received our household goods. We spent the day checking off box numbers from the packing list, unpacking, sorting and tossing empty boxes into the garage. I also took the dogs to get groomed because they were way to furry and it was a good excuse to get them out of the house (and out of the way of the movers) for a few hours. I can't believe we've almost been in this house for 2 months now.

Is this really happening again?

I thought the next time I talked about pregnancy would be to announce it when I got to 13 weeks. Unfortunately, I had to take myself to the ER yesterday afternoon because I started to have cramping and spotting yesterday morning. Definitely a pregnant woman's worst nightmare. The doctors drew a ton of blood then made me sit in a little room for about 3 hours until anyone other than a nurse came to see me. The PA told me that I was never pregnant to begin with. I called him on it. I told him that I had 5 positive home pregnancy tests (I know a little excessive but I wanted to be sure) plus a positive blood test on Monday from my PCM. Stupid little man. He came back and told me that he read the results wrong and I did in fact have levels of HCG in my blood. No crap. The real doctor finally came in and she told me that I would have to have a pelvic exam to check my cervix and uterus and then go in for an ultrasound. The pelvic exam was uncomfortable because there were 2 people poking and prodding down there. I guess the PA is training so he had to have a crack at everything. I was wheeled down for the ultrasound and had to wait in the hall because another lady was getting one done. Of course she got to come out with ultrasound pictures of her perfect baby. My results didn't show anything. An ectopic pregnancy hasn't been ruled out yet. I have to go back tomorrow for another blood draw and ultrasound after my HCG levels have been determined. I've been bleeding since noon yesterday and just started passing clots. I can't believe that I have had to experience not one but two losses in the matter of 7 months. It makes it even harder that Evan is not here for support.

I'm a mess of emotions now. I'm sad, mad, and frustrated. I want a baby so bad and I don't know why it's (1) so hard to get pregnant in the first place and (2) why I can't seem to stay pregnant. I've been on the phone all morning with my doctor and insurance to try and push through my OB referral because I need to follow up with someone other than the ER next week. As much as I don't want to, I think we're going to have to take a few months off from TTC. My heart, mind and body are exhausted. I don't know that I could take another loss this year. I'm emotionally lost and hurt.

Wordless Wednesday

(Thanksgiving dinner - 2009. Only 3 weeks to go until I can make another big feast :)

Hello November

Wow! It's hard to believe that October has come and gone and we're only about a month away from the start of the holidays. Where has 2010 gone? I do have a feeling that this month is going to crawl by though since Evan is away. I tried to keep myself busy this weekend but the days seemed longer than usual. I figured that there would be a lot of trick-or-treaters on Saturday night but everyone must have gone on-post because I had only 9 kids the whole night. What am I supposed to do with the leftover candy and no husband to eat it? Right now, I have it hidden in the pantry. Out of sight, out of mind, right? We'll see how much is left by the end of the month.

I recently starting scrapbooking again. I had a ton of things from our trip to Europe and other vacations we've taken together in the past 4 years so I decided to create a travel scrapbook. I've only done one other before which was for my wedding and it took me forever. I've done 4 pages so far and have about 12 more to go. This is one expensive hobby though. So many things that can be purchased - papers, embellishments, markers, scissors, glue, pens, etc. I'm getting in some scrapbooking practice now because I'd really like to make a scrapbook for our baby once I do get pregnant. It's something that Evan's mom and grandfather did for him when he was little for him to look back on when he got older. I love the one he has and I'd love for our future children to have one of their own also.

Here's some pictures from the weekend.

(Waiting for trick-or-treaters)

(Laying out pictures for my Paris page)

(1 page down, 21 to go)

(A few supplies)